Psalm 94:12-13

Blessed is the man you discipline, O Lord, the man you teach from your law; you grant him relief from days of trouble…

God has been trying to discipline me for the last few months. Sometimes I let him and sometimes I don’t. Maybe that’s incorrect. Maybe he does it anyway or maybe not. Either way it’s the end result that matters in this instance. God has taught me lessons and I have refused to listen to them. Shameful as that sounds its true. If I’m really honest with myself I find I fail in a lot of ways I didn’t think I ever could or would. But praise God because he’s teaching me and showing me my faults so I can make them right and fall in line with his will. I’ve always thought that going “from glory to glory” was more or less a shift in paradigm. I still think it’s true. The only difference being before I always associated with it being an outwardly positive thing but I’m learning that’s not always true. Sometimes things that seem awful are the best things for you and sometimes it’s the opposite, either way its comforting to know that Jesus wants to be involved in my life, sometimes whether I like it or not.
He’s been teaching me discipline and probably will continue to do so until I die. Praise God. It’s been a while since I could say that. I need to say it more often. Praises God!
God only disciplines to save us from trouble. Amen. Thank you, God. Continue to discipline me according to your love and salvation that I may serve you and others better.

2 Timothy 2:22-24

Flee the evil desire of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lords servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.

This is quite the standard. I love it. I need correction and I need a job description so I can carry out my job to the best of my ability. This needs to be what I’m striving for. I need to run away from lust, envy, pride, idolatry, and anything else that keeps me from pursuing righteousness, faith, love, and peace. It’s been on my heart since I can remember to stay away from useless talk but so often I get sucked in. It takes effort to talk about valuable things and to encourage others and that’s probably why we avoid it. It doesn’t take any effort to quote a movie or television show or make a stupid joke. Why do good things take so much more effort than bad or useless things?
It’s time to step into what I was made to be. It’s time to settle for nothing less than the best. It’s time, its Gods time. It should have been all along but I let things get in the way and now I know. I know that Jesus has saved me and wants to change me into something that reflects his character. Leaving the old behind I walk anew in the light of my Father. I dream of the day when I might touch his scared hands and rest my head on his chest and know that the pain is finally over. Until that day I will labor for his kingdom. Taking up my cross I will do my best to focus on what is in front of me not looking to the left or right but fixing my eyes on Jesus the author and perfector of my faith. I don’t know why I’m so flawed and beat up. Sometimes I feel like the furthest from a Christian. Why would God want or choose me? I don’t know. My stupid human brain can’t comprehend why the God of the Universe would seek out a personal relationship with me. I will do my best to accept it and live how he wants me to, how I need to.

O, how I need Jesus.
His unfailing love is true.
O, how I need Jesus.